I am fifteen, soon to be sixteen. And according to almost every adult in my life I am too young to know what I want. I am too young to know anything about the world. Too young to know anything about my future. Too young to know the truth. I am young, I’ll give them that. However I do not believe that I am too young to know how the world works. The complicated ins and outs of people. The million shades of grey that compile the screwed up puzzle that puts this city together. Youth does not equal naivety. And in so many adults minds it does. My youth coupled with my white skin and middle class upbringing makes me a bit of a target for criticism when I discuss my woes. I am not nor have I ever said that my life is anymore difficult than anyone else’s. I have never asked for anyone to care more about me. All I have ever asked for is respect. But respect is something that is never something given. It is something that is earned.
That is part of the reason that I decided to take classes at FIT. To give some legitimacy to what I want. To hopefully be given more respect. When I first came to FIT last summer I had hoped that I would feel like an adult. However what I found was that I still felt like a child. I realize that I may be asking too much. I am asking to speed up the process and go straight to college. Being young, and going to high school is an important step in becoming a whole person. Really my need and want to grow up so quickly is very childish, and very naive. But right now it just feels like I am waiting for my life to start.