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Hue recently acquired a top-secret video in conjunction with the graduate student exhibition, Boots: The Height of Fashion, running through April 6.

The video you are about to watch, produced for a graduate studies class, has scenes that have been deemed both informative and amusing, and potentially inappropriate for a museum audience. Consider yourself warned.

embedded by Embedded Video

YouTube Direkt

Powerful stuff indeed. Hue is still puzzling over the lessons learned. Here are the facts:

Boots are the height of fashion. Given that the word “of” signifies multiplication, boots = height(figurative) x fashion.

Boots make women feel powerful, the corollary being that boots are a danger to anyone in the path of their wearers. In mathematical terms, boots = danger.

The higher the boot, the more powerful the wearer. Making a simple substitution, height(literal) is proportional to danger.

Finally, boots are sex, status, and rebellion. Therefore, boots = sex + status + rebellion.

Solving for fashion, then:

Fashion = boots / height(f)

Fashion = danger / height(f)

Fashion : height(l) / height(f)

From this we can learn that fashion is proportional to the literal height of the boot divided by its figurative height.

Also, height(f) = (sex + status + rebellion) / fashion

Solving for sex:

Sex + status + rebellion = fashion x height(f)

Sex = fashion x height(f) – status – rebellion

In other words, sex is nothing more than the height of fashion minus status and rebellion.

Hue senses a pun in here somewhere.

3 thoughts on “BOOTS = HEIGHT x FASHION

  1. Cheap Cowgirl Boots

    Some of this boot fashion can be traced back to the Geta (footwear) of the Oiran or grand courtesans of traditional Japan. Their footwear were high platform type footwear. The height was important because these were high status women and their height was a direct correlation to their status, the higher the Geta the higher their value to their prospective customers! Many western fashion trends can be linked back to ancient non western cultures, and its pretty cool to see them in today’s fashion.


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