Notes From the 6 Train: Breaking Up With Heartbreak

break-ups--source
( Don’t take Wiz Khalifa’s advice!)

Between midterms, applying for scholarships and summer internships/ jobs, working on honors project, and the million other things most FIT students are doing, it’s easy to become a bit scattered brained. Not to mention something I hadn’t planned for, a very abrupt ending to an three & half year experience ( ranging from relationship, to friendship and many complicated middle passages) with someone I really cared about, of which I was informed through a text message. Usually, I don’t get personal on this blog, but as a writer, I am committed to to telling the truth, whatever that means. And I know that this is not just my truth, because breakups are a universal experience. They happen, usually at the most inconvenient times, ( what is a “convenient time,” though) and, if you let them, have the ability to completely throw you off. Here’s a mini list of things I’m doing while in this transitional period in my life.

You can’t control what people do, but you only how you respond. Be sad. After putting you’re all into something and it doesn’t work out, you’re allowed to be sad. Trying to ignore what you’re feeling isn’t healthy, and you’re doing a dishonor to yourself. But don’t let the sadness consume you. Give yourself a prescribed amount of time to be sad, a week, a month, three months, whatever that may be and then, begin to move on.

Reach out to your support system. I am fortunate to have an amazinggg support system. Unfortunately, we’re scattered across the globe, but despite that I’ve received love from all over. My sister queen in LA even sent me an inspirational video of her dancing around. Another friend, this one located in NYC, brought me so magical Indian food, (I’m totally a believer that food holds healing qualities) and just hung out with me. If you don’t have anyone in New York, and just need someone to talk to, that’s what the health center is for. Sometimes you just need a good cry, in a private place, between classes and that’s what the FIT therapist’s offices are for.

Spoil yourself. Sometimes when we become accustomed to other people treating us well, we stop doing it ourselves. Breakups are the universe’s little reminder that you always deserve to be treated well. So, spoil yourself, whatever that means. Whether that means that extra piece of cake or getting those shoes you’ve been eyeing. Hey, you know they’ll never leave you. For me, that meant going to acupuncture ( at FIT for free) which is super relaxing, eating veggie burgers all weekend (which I’ve discovered is my comfort food) and NOT running all over New York, for once. Allowing myself to relax, if only for a week, is a treat in it’s self.

There are lots of other tasks I have taken up during this growth period but there’s no way I can list them all. I think that most important is remembering to be happy. Happiness is definitely a choice. I am coming to peace with my past, all the good and the bad, and am excited about what’s next. Everyday I wake up and remember “you’re young, you’re living in New York and this is all to prepare for whatever greatness lays ahead.” I hope you tell yourself the same.

All things Color, Love & Fashion,

Ayanna L.

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